I Miss You

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August 16th. The day my mom was born. She would have been 65 this year.

Her birthday is on Tuesday. I always think of her but recently its been even more than usual. I miss her.

I know life isn’t fair and honestly, I think I handle it pretty well. I try not to make myself feel sorry for what I can’t control but I’m having my own little pity party here. Why did she have to die?! Life isn’t fair!

She will never get the chance to hear Kennedy laugh or smile or cry or anything! It’s so unfair. She can’t help me when I have a question about motherhood or show me a better way. Why isn’t she close enough to have family dinner or call up just to chat?

Ok, I know I’m being a whiner right now but damnit! It makes me so angry and so sad..I miss my mommy!

October 31st. The day my mom left. Yup, Halloween. 545 am if you must know. I watched her take her final breath.

I don’t want sympathy, I just wish this didn’t happen. It’s been 5 years this year. I am going to trying to celebrate Kennedy’s first Halloween while missing her more than ever.

I am not religious (yes, I know that I’m with a highly devoted Catholic and my daughter is baptized Catholic lol) but there is a hope that she is in a happy place, maybe it is heaven or maybe its just a huge kitchen filled with a billion recipes, her mom, PBR and some good music. Oh, and she is pain free…thats a must!

I miss you mom. Everyday, all day until the end of time. You were my rock and I just hope that you would be proud of me. I love you. And Kennedy is of course the most beautiful granddaughter and I KNOW she is perfect.

RIP Mom
August 16th,1946 to October 31st, 2006

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