Alright its been a few weeks and life was a little busy for a second. I was working more hours (yay!) and obviously taking care of Kennedy and then wedding planning makes me drained sometimes. Thinking about everything that needs to be paid for, planned, etc. Honestly, I now understand why people hire other people to do this for them and if I was rich, I totally would! We have major stuff done- reception place, photographer, dj, flowers. I have picked out other important things and I have finalized decisions on the bridesmaids. But all the little things are what get me! I can’t stand this. Really in 20 years is it going to matter what fucking color the flower girls pedals are? or what shoes my bridesmaids are wearing? or how their hair was? PROBABLY NOT! I am very good about being easy about things and going with the flow because I know it won’t matter to me and actually, it doesn’t really matter to me now. I know that things need to coordinate, etc. and I want it to be nice but when I am walking down the aisle, do you think I am paying attention to what color flowers I am stepping on? NO. I am focused on 1st- not falling and 2nd- reaching the altar to marry my fiance! So that’s my feeling on the wedding stuff lately haha!
I have been working out and running and so far its been ok. I ran 3 miles on my birthday (23rd of Jan) in about 31 mins. It’s not very fast but I say its pretty damn good for someone who hasn’t run in 4 months! I have been also lifting weights and eating healthier. I jumped on the bad food bandwagon this weekend and needs to hop off! I slipped a little but I am back to the good stuff! I know that I need to get faster for the marathon because they shut down the course if you don’t make it in time, you are screwed. I wish I knew how to get faster but maybe it will come in time. I will keep you posted!
In other news, if you are NOT on the support call with Tracy & other fabulous people, you need to be! It’s such a great support and I really look forward to talking to this wonderful ladies every week!! If you need more information go to her website or you can always contact me.
And that is my update for now. I am working on getting back into blogging more. I need to only devote a certain amount of time each day to the wedding or I could be looking at stuff for hours, which is NOT a good idea for me haha! And pinterest is the best idea in the whole world, end of story! lol
PS- Today is Anthony & I’s 3rd year anniversary and I have to say I didn’t think I would be a mom now but I love every minute and I love him. I am excited to get married to this man and I am excited for all the things to come!
So my apologizes about being MIA! My laptop died, well it won’t charge anymore. I think it’s the charger but I don’t have another to compare. So here we are. I finished the 5DPT and did great I think! It was helpful to get back on track. I have had no soda or rice! Yay for me! I am craving soda terribly but I haven’t given in!!! I am trying my best to stay on track. I have been eating better and I am actually 182 lbs!!! I started the pouch test at 190 lbs and although this wasn’t about weight loss, I am still very happy with the weight I have lost! I will reach 170 lbs..I will!!
Alright so if you are a frequent blog reader or a personal friend, you know Anthony and I are getting married October 13th,2012. O.M.G I am overwhelmed. Who likes to do this shit?! Well obviously wedding planners do but seriously?! I am so over my head with decisions. I need to find a way to do one thing at a time. I also need to stop looking at all these different options. I find one I like, say out of 10. Then I go to another website and find 10 more ideas. I am needing to limit myself in where I look and how much I look because if I have to look at 100 things and decide, I feel more overwhelmed. For example: The invitations. I looked at one website and really found ones I loved and that I would be very happy with. Then went to another website and found 20 more I liked. I clicked off the second website and I actually had this conversation with Anthony because if I give myself 100 options, It will take me 100 years to decide which one I “love” the most. Invitations are important to me because they reflect your wedding, your attire and even though people throw them away, they matter. BUT I should not spent 100 years deciding on the friggin invitations! That’s pretty ridiculous if you ask me. I feel this way about everything though. I have been frequent to www.theknot.com and love their site! BUT I find some ideas that I like and then the next day another article comes out with more ideas that I love. I really need to stay away from this type of websites because I am given too many ideas. I have a vision of a unique wedding but nothing too extravagant. I want fun things that the guests will remember but I also don’t want to break the bank trying to do too many things. I am a simple person but your wedding day is kinda a big deal lol. I have to say that huge stuff is done. Reception place has been under contract since October or November. We have the church booked and we are working with the photographer/DJ currently on their contract and we should be booked by next week. We also are in contact with someone about flowers and invitations. So really all that’s left is the little stuff—which is kicking my ass!
I am also starting to second guess my dress choice. I haven’t ordered it yet and maybe to make myself feel better I will try some more to make sure but I think I am doubting it because I am just so wanting it to “perfect” blah blah blah. I love my dress I picked but everyone has said you will get the “I know” feeling right away and I didn’t have that but I do love the dress on me, etc. Maybe I just was distracted when I was trying it on, there was a lot going on and Kennedy was there- not the perfect situation lol. Well I know it will get better once I find away to organize my decisions.
Day 3 was MUCH better simply because I could eat! I had cheesy eggs and a little yogurt for breakfast, I had a couple of protein shakes somewhere in my day. I had tuna, tilapia, and canned chicken. It was overall a decent day except I hated being restricted. I wanted to eat EVERYTHING lol I have a monthly visitor, which I didn’t expect or I didn’t really care when I started this but when this visitor comes to town, I eat like a freak for a week. I have endless pouch days all the over the place! And of course I crave sweets! So yesterday I had some sugar-free pudding. mmmm it was delicious although I find the sugar-free to be very sweet! But overall I didn’t have too bad of a day yesterday. I worked last night so that helped kind of kill time and not let me think about being hungry, etc. I guess I can’t see my portion sizes being smaller than before the test but I think that partly has to do with the week I did it in! Opps. Well all I REALLY care about is making better choices so that’s what I will do!
Yay to Day 4- mmm I am looking forward to some ground turkey tonight!!
Day 2 is officially closed! I may or may not have done a happy dance…ok I didn’t really dance but I feel so happy to be done with that! Yesterday wasn’t as bad as day 1 for me. I do the support call with Tracy aka Tiny Tank every Tuesday afternoon (morning for me) at 12pm EST. I also usually join the Wednesday evening call at 8:30pm EST but this week, I have to work…anyway! It was SO helpful. Tracy picks topics for the week and we talk about them but this week since it was just me and her, we talked about the pouch test. She has done it before but the call REALLY helped my attitude yesterday. Encouragement is a huge thing and something you don’t realize how important it is unless you get it. Don’t get me wrong, Anthony has been WAY more supportive and encouraging these past two days than I like to admit I have been to him but sometimes you need an outside source to help chug you along even more. I would say I was pretty proud of myself yesterday. I drank a 15oz protein shake in about 10-15 minutes!!! I did the same as yesterday with the GMC Total Lean Rich Chocolate and made it like a milkshake then added cinnamon and nutmeg…the nutmeg REALLY helps hid the protein taste as well as tone down the sweetness of the chocolate. It was actually pretty good. I had two cans of soup throughout the day and again some saltines but not a ton and it really helped me make it through with a saltine or two throughout the day. I know that is “cheating” but I say, screw it. I didn’t sit here and eat steak so I think I did pretty good! I also made another shake the same way for a second time, that didn’t go down so smooth but I did finish it..eventually! Now this test is not about losing weight but I decided to use the scale the whole time just to see how my body handled it weight wise. I repeat, I am not doing this to lose weight because this is not the purpose of it. It is to get back on track. And I must say, I have gained weight but I am confident once my marathon training begins next week, it will fall back off! I am not even worried!
Cheers to a beautiful snowy morning with my cheesy eggs and yogurt. OMG ITS SO DELICIOUS!
Ok so yesterday was Day 1 of the pouch test. Holy shit was it hard!!! Well in my previous post, I told you I am not a fan of protein shakes, etc. Well I managed to finish 20 oz of a protein shake throughout the day. I made it more like a milkshake and it helped a little. I am going to try again today to at least finish one throughout the day. I know it helps. but I had horrible headaches, dizziness and I was just plain grumpy. I had that shake. I also had some soup I had in my pantry which wasn’t the best but I had to do something before I passed out. I ate some chicken noodle soup from Campbell’s. I mostly just drank the broth and had a few bites of the stuff but barely any of it. I also drank lots and lots of water. It helped a little but the hunger was so hard. By 530 pm I was in tears when Anthony got home. He made me go to the store and get more soup. I got Progresso Light which tastes amazing by the way! And I am not just saying that because of lack of food, their soup is delicious and I am not a soup fan lol. But anyway, I also broke down and had about 5 saltines throughout the day. I know I didn’t completely ruin the test but it was literally horrible. At one point, I thought I was going to pass out. They helped and I did NOT eat them all at once. I would have one here and maybe an hour later another. I tried hard not to do it but I had to not be passing out!
So day 1 was rough and of course this morning I woke up with a killer headache. I hope day 2 goes by fast because frankly, this fucking sucks! And on a different note, Kennedy is 10 months old today!!!! I love her sweet little face but sad/happy for her to grow up. Its such a mix of emotions and maybe I will cry. Probably more for lack of food then her actually being 10 months but whatever! lol
and another from last night with my headphones. I laughed hysterically!
PS- I hope people will be on the call today with Tracy aka My Tiny Tank. Her weekly support call is amazing and I love being able to talk to you guys! I can’t make the call tomorrow night due to work but I will be on today!!! Contact Tracy if you have any questions!!
So today is the first day of the 5 day pouch test (5DPT). I am off to a semi rocky start. I have to say I chose to do this to reset my mind. I don’t believe this test “shrinks” your pouch or anything of that sort but mentally, I think this will help me. I make bad choices everyday with my food and it is not where I want to be anymore. I drink soda regularly, I eat rice daily, and I tend to eat sweets a lot. Not that I blame pregnancy but I think this started for me when the cravings for pregnancy kicked in. I honestly didn’t really watch what I ate. I pretty much ate the pizza hut pizza from taco bell once a day. I started making bad choices and it is followed me through the birth of Kennedy and haunting me 10 months later. But on a side note, I have to say I am lucky enough to have only gained 25 lbs with my pregnancy and honestly, my weight loss surgery helped that.
I stopped soda pre weight loss surgery and I continued that for almost a year after surgery. I never craved it. Well come pregnancy I randomly got a craving and caved. I get headaches if I don’t drink soda and that kind of grosses me out. I should NOT be here. I was doing SO well pre pregnancy. I ate 6x a day with very simple meals and once and awhile caved to a sweet. I want to be back there. I can’t be prefect and none of us are but I want to be healthier. As the marathon training will begin, I need to be healthy. I need to be strong and mentally if I am wore down with food then my training will not be successful. I was going to start running today but figured I should tackle one task at a time…lets get my food back up to par and then start running. I think I will be more successful instead of trying to do it all at once.
So back to my first day, this day is already rocky and its 10 am. I have a headache and I am starving. I hate the taste of protein shakes…it is super disgusting to me. I have NEVER supplemented my protein in the 2 1/2 years since surgery but I still get my 60-80 grams..I just eat high protein foods (meat, etc.) So day 1 and 2 are just strictly liquids. Protein shakes, protein soups. Well I actually have the books from Kaye Bailey (thanks to a giveaway by Tracy) and I have to say, I am such a picky eater. And if you ask anybody, I am not exaggerating. If you were around me daily, you could maybe understand Anthony’s pain haha. The protein shakes make me gag. I have a tried a few different kinds, brands, etc. They are griddy and the smell/taste just gets to me. So I turned to a trusted pal, Tracy (again) and she suggested the protein soups. Well looky again, my picky eater comes out. I am sure the recipes are great for people who like that stuff. I am already not a big fan of soup…I just have to be in a mood to eat it and my selection is very slim as to what I like. So the soup recipes weren’t very appealing to me either. So I am stuck. I did end up making a shake today using GNC Total Lean Rich Chocolate and made it more like a milkshake. It helps but I had to take a sip and then turn around and take a sip of water to even get it down. I drank about 4 oz of it before I had to stop. I added some cinnamon to cover the taste a tad and it was ok. I guess drinking part of a shake is way better than living off water because that isn’t healthy..at all.
I am just trying to make it through these next two days and I will be ok. Day 3-5 you move slowly in the protein scale. I am thankful to say Anthony is doing it with me, even though he is not a baratric patient. He will be slightly different on days 3-5 because there are added rules in such that you sit down and you can only eat for 15 minutes. Also, you can’t drink anything 30 mins before a meal or 30 mins after. I have to say I have never followed that rule. It’s so hard for me but I will try very hard to follow it through the test and beyond.
On one last note, I decided my pouch needs a name. I mean it is part of me and it has to be super cool. Hmm, I will ponder this! I have never been able to come up with a good name!
Wish us luck on this test! I think I need to more than anybody doing it haha. If you are looking for another prospective on the test, Rob over at Former Fat Dudes is also doing the test starting today. Check out his blog!