Category Archives: weight loss



So I found this video on YouTube today randomly. It REALLY pissed me off. My blood is boiling. It was a video about her friend dying from weight loss surgery within 5 days and another friend of hers who didn’t lose weight after she got the lap band. First off…Your friend had weight loss surgery by CHOICE and she died from complications. Well guess what? ANYBODY COULD DIE IN SURGERY. They tell you that, that’s why you sign forms. My doctor’s statistics for death were less that 1% and I could have been that 1%. I started to panic on the way to the operating room, to the point where I knocked the gas mask out of the hand of the anesthesiologist. I could have died but I am thankful that I didn’t.  I am sad for her loss because no matter how someone dies, its sad. BUT don’t blame weight loss surgery because (I know this is one-sided) maybe the doctor fucked up? Maybe a nurse did? Maybe she was too overweight to have surgery? There are so many reasons for complications!!!!!!

Secondly, for your friend who didn’t lose weight after the lap band…you have to change your way of thinking and your habits or YOU WILL NOT LOSE WEIGHT. It could also be that you were too overweight for the lap band. Is weight loss surgery an easy way out? NO. Is weight loss surgery for everybody? NO. Is Lap Band for everybody? NO. Is Roux-en-y for everybody? NO. Is the Gastric Sleeve for everybody? NO. Weight loss surgery is a TOOL to help you succeed. I have been very lucky and have lost 115 lbs since my surgery in August 2009. I had Roux-en-y and that is very different from lap band. I know a few of my twitter followers who had lap band and then went on to get it reversed to the sleeve. Your doctor should point in the right direction to which surgery may be best for you. I wanted the lap band to begin with and after speaking with my doctor, I got Roux-en-y. Why? Because the lap band wasn’t for me. I listened to the doctor and his comparison of the two and realized I would never succeed in the lap band. The lap band is a slower moving process. An average of 2-4 lbs a week. I was 320 lbs, do you know how long it would have taken me to reach my current weight of 188 lbs? Yeah, I would have never succeed. And I must say…we can’t all be Bigger Loser contestants with that kind of training 8-10 hours a day because IT IS UNREALISTIC. I know there have been people to succeed from that show but most gain some/all their weight back. I have struggled and I still  struggle to make better choices in my life but if I didn’t do anything, I would not lose weight and/or gain it all back. I know people in the community have gained their weight back or struggle with the last 20 lbs and I just wish them the best in making daily choices to help get back on track but I also know these people are not blaming weight loss surgery for not keeping the weight off, etc.

I am sure I could search YouTube for videos bashing weight loss surgery but I don’t think I have ever touched on how much this pisses me off so a random video prompted this. I haven’t encountered anybody to have anything negative to say to my face so maybe that is where this anger is coming from. I just wanted to clear this up because I am a very open person. We could play 100 questions and I will answer all to my ability. I don’t hide the fact that I had Gastric Bypass or anything that has happened. The first three months after surgery? I felt like death. I couldn’t eat anything except yogurt and cottage cheese but EVERYTHING got stuck. I ended up having to get an upper GI done and they have to open up my connection so I will never say my surgery was the EASY way out. I struggle everyday to take all my vitamins, saggy skin, my body image, sweets, protein intake and portion control. I am only human but I will always be honest with my struggles.I would rather you ask me about it then speculate so if anybody reading this blog has ANY questions, even just because you want to know, ASK. I will answer them or at least give you somewhere to find the answer.

I do want to thank everybody in my life for their support. I have talked to some people and see blogs/comments/tweets about family not being ok with their choice to have surgery and I say…ROCK ON! Keep doing what you doing because you made a decision to change your life. 🙂


Two years…already?!


I am successful.

I am healthy.

I am strong.

I am determined.

I am happier.

I am confident.

Two years ago on August 25th I went in and got my guts rearranged. Or if you want the technical name, I had Roux en y gastric bypass.

Highest Record Weight: 320lbs

Weight Day of Surgery: 303lbs

Goal Weight: 170lbs

Weight as of August 25th,2011: 189.7lbs

I wouldn’t be where I am at without the support. I have never met someone who hasn’t supported me. I have gotten comments about it from very few people and that I am thankful for. (we all know I am one to not keep my mouth shut 😉 ) SO I am going to toast to myself (with water because we all know I’m a lush these days) Yay for doing it, yay for where I am and I will pat myself on the back because this surgery saved my life. I rarely give myself credit for anything but this I will stand on a mountain top and scream it. I am training for a freakin 5K..who would have thought that?! But I also want to thank everyone who has helped along the way…

Thank you Anthony for being loving, supportive, and always telling me I am beautiful. I also want to thank you for being with me at 320 lbs as well as 189 lbs. I love you and I am so happy to have found you and had this beautiful baby together. You are my rock.

Thank you Kennedy simply because I was able to have you after having this surgery. You are perfect. You are beautiful, smart and curious. I love learning something new about you everyday. You also are the reason I started running and training for the 5K because I want to be healthy for you. I want to run around with you without getting tired. I love you my sweet beautiful baby girl.

Thank you Tracey for being supportive, even if you live in NY. You are always there to talk when I need it and I am grateful we are so close. You even cheer me on via text when I tell you my running accomplishments. I love you.

Thank you Dad mainly because it feels good when you aren’t recognized by your own dad when you walk up to him because you look so different. Thank you. I love you.

Thank You Mary Jo, Hannah, Sophie, Lily, Jaime, Emma and Lauren (well that was long to type lol) I love you all and thank you for your continued support in EVERYTHING. You guys have kept me sane and I have tremendous gratitude.

Thank you Twitter/Facebook/Forum friends because you can relate to what is going on, give advice or be a cheering squad. Thank you for the bottom of my heart!!!!!!!

Running, Running, Running!


Running!! Who in their right mind would have EVER thought I would be running…for fun? Yeah, its an insane concept. I never thought so either. I mean WHY would anyone choose to run when they don’t have to?

Because its an awesome feeling! I love it. I found a trail here in town that is so beautiful. It’s full of beautiful big trees, a small stream, and some very friendly people. I feel like I can just run and enjoy what’s around me. Kennedy loves to go with me, I think being outside calms her. I can’t forget Ember either! She loves to go running with us because what black lab doesn’t want to burn some energy?

But seriously, I recommend running to keep your sanity! It’s a huge stress reliever. I am NOT fast, not even a little but I do it. I do it to feel better about myself. To feel calm. But I also do it because my bucket list includes me running a marathon and eventually, a 100 mile race. Yes, you read that correctly..a 100 mile race.

I started wanting to run a marathon a while ago. It would feel amazing to finish that because it is a huge test of ability and mental state. I want to be tested and especially now being a stay at home mom during the day, my mind is filled with baby talk and mindless things. I want to feel that accomplishment to say, I did it!

Now I have been training for a 5k because we all have to start somewhere! I have been using an app on my Andriod called C25K or Couch to 5k. It rocks! You don’t have to have an Android or iPhone, you can upload it on your iPod and off you go! It’s pretty helpful since it starts you off pretty slow and eventually you end with a 30 minute long run in week 9. It’s 9 weeks training with running every other day. I like it a lot! It prompts you over your music to run or walk, it tells you when you are halfway done and when you have 2 minutes left(which are the longest two minutes of your life!). If you want to take up running, please do it slowly so you don’t hurt yourself.

But if any of you Colorado girls wants to run a 5k, I’m running in the Dirty Girl Mud Run and I couldn’t be more excited! It’s an obstacle course 5k run. Hey go big or go home right?! It is a girls only run with a mud crawl at the end! It raises money for breast cancer and you get some pretty cool stuff! Check them out on Facebook! They have pictures from the WI run this past weekend!! Or follow them on Twitter!

I’ll post pictures after I complete my run on September 24th,2011 in Calhan,CO!!

Happy running!

Why I had gastric bypass


Me in June of 2009

So I get asked by new friends/coworkers/strangers why I decided to have gastric bypass. Some people judge, some people are truly curious and others just feel the need to ask. Here is MY list of reasons that I chose WLS.

1. To live longer. Well this seems obvious now doesn’t it? I decided to have surgery a little before my 21st birthday. I was well over 300lb and so unhappy. I didn’t have anything medically wrong with me…yet! I didn’t want to found out what it was like to have medical issues.

2. I didn’t want to be fat and pregnant. Ok you read that and though What the heck? It’s true. I didn’t want to be fat and carry a child. I wanted people to know I was pregnant…which BTW, didn’t happen even after 115 lbs lost! I never looked pregnant when I actually was..lame!

3. I was unhappy. Well besides the fact of living longer, I was truly unhappy. If you have never been bigger in size then you cannot understand but people treat you differently when you are fat. You are looked down on and made fun of.

4. I wanted to ride roller coasters. I have a huge passion for roller coasters. The thrill is amazing. I went to Cedar Point, which has some of the tallest roller coaster in the world, and I couldn’t ride because I was too fat. How disappointing as well as embarrassing.

Day of surgery August 2009

5.My mom always wanted me to be thin. Ok I know some people had major childhood issues with their parents and such but this isn’t the case. She just wanted me to be healthy, she didn’t agree with WLS but she hated to see the repercussions of me being big my whole life. She never picked on me or talked down to me but I have tremendous respect for my mom, who passed before I had WLS.

6.I was sick of the “fat” one. Again, if you have never been fat then you don’t understand but being young and always being the fat friend pretty much sucks! As well as being the 3rd wheel everywhere!

7. No diets ever worked. I have tried so many diets, its gross. They never worked. Besides the fact of sticking to one longer than 2 months, I never saw results.

8. It’s just my personality. If you truly know me, you know that I’m impatient. I will be the first to admit it, I just hate waiting. This can go along with number 7 but I need results, fast. I knew RNY was for me because 90-100 lbs lost in 6 months? Let me climb on board! This is also a little in site as to why I chose RNY over lap band.

April 2011

So that’s my list of major reasons I had surgery. You may think some are dumb and some are obvious. Weather you have had any sort of WLS or are thinking about it, weather you are thin or heavy…there are reasons for everything you do. Some are big, some are small but I would never change a thing. I am so glad I had WLS and I am now healthier.