Alright so if you are a frequent blog reader or a personal friend, you know Anthony and I are getting married October 13th,2012. O.M.G I am overwhelmed. Who likes to do this shit?! Well obviously wedding planners do but seriously?! I am so over my head with decisions. I need to find a way to do one thing at a time. I also need to stop looking at all these different options. I find one I like, say out of 10. Then I go to another website and find 10 more ideas. I am needing to limit myself in where I look and how much I look because if I have to look at 100 things and decide, I feel more overwhelmed. For example: The invitations. I looked at one website and really found ones I loved and that I would be very happy with. Then went to another website and found 20 more I liked. I clicked off the second website and I actually had this conversation with Anthony because if I give myself 100 options, It will take me 100 years to decide which one I “love” the most. Invitations are important to me because they reflect your wedding, your attire and even though people throw them away, they matter. BUT I should not spent 100 years deciding on the friggin invitations! That’s pretty ridiculous if you ask me. I feel this way about everything though. I have been frequent to www.theknot.com and love their site! BUT I find some ideas that I like and then the next day another article comes out with more ideas that I love. I really need to stay away from this type of websites because I am given too many ideas. I have a vision of a unique wedding but nothing too extravagant. I want fun things that the guests will remember but I also don’t want to break the bank trying to do too many things. I am a simple person but your wedding day is kinda a big deal lol. I have to say that huge stuff is done. Reception place has been under contract since October or November. We have the church booked and we are working with the photographer/DJ currently on their contract and we should be booked by next week. We also are in contact with someone about flowers and invitations. So really all that’s left is the little stuff—which is kicking my ass!
I am also starting to second guess my dress choice. I haven’t ordered it yet and maybe to make myself feel better I will try some more to make sure but I think I am doubting it because I am just so wanting it to “perfect” blah blah blah. I love my dress I picked but everyone has said you will get the “I know” feeling right away and I didn’t have that but I do love the dress on me, etc. Maybe I just was distracted when I was trying it on, there was a lot going on and Kennedy was there- not the perfect situation lol. Well I know it will get better once I find away to organize my decisions.
Day 3 was MUCH better simply because I could eat! I had cheesy eggs and a little yogurt for breakfast, I had a couple of protein shakes somewhere in my day. I had tuna, tilapia, and canned chicken. It was overall a decent day except I hated being restricted. I wanted to eat EVERYTHING lol I have a monthly visitor, which I didn’t expect or I didn’t really care when I started this but when this visitor comes to town, I eat like a freak for a week. I have endless pouch days all the over the place! And of course I crave sweets! So yesterday I had some sugar-free pudding. mmmm it was delicious although I find the sugar-free to be very sweet! But overall I didn’t have too bad of a day yesterday. I worked last night so that helped kind of kill time and not let me think about being hungry, etc. I guess I can’t see my portion sizes being smaller than before the test but I think that partly has to do with the week I did it in! Opps. Well all I REALLY care about is making better choices so that’s what I will do!
Yay to Day 4- mmm I am looking forward to some ground turkey tonight!!
So today is the first day of the 5 day pouch test (5DPT). I am off to a semi rocky start. I have to say I chose to do this to reset my mind. I don’t believe this test “shrinks” your pouch or anything of that sort but mentally, I think this will help me. I make bad choices everyday with my food and it is not where I want to be anymore. I drink soda regularly, I eat rice daily, and I tend to eat sweets a lot. Not that I blame pregnancy but I think this started for me when the cravings for pregnancy kicked in. I honestly didn’t really watch what I ate. I pretty much ate the pizza hut pizza from taco bell once a day. I started making bad choices and it is followed me through the birth of Kennedy and haunting me 10 months later. But on a side note, I have to say I am lucky enough to have only gained 25 lbs with my pregnancy and honestly, my weight loss surgery helped that.
I stopped soda pre weight loss surgery and I continued that for almost a year after surgery. I never craved it. Well come pregnancy I randomly got a craving and caved. I get headaches if I don’t drink soda and that kind of grosses me out. I should NOT be here. I was doing SO well pre pregnancy. I ate 6x a day with very simple meals and once and awhile caved to a sweet. I want to be back there. I can’t be prefect and none of us are but I want to be healthier. As the marathon training will begin, I need to be healthy. I need to be strong and mentally if I am wore down with food then my training will not be successful. I was going to start running today but figured I should tackle one task at a time…lets get my food back up to par and then start running. I think I will be more successful instead of trying to do it all at once.
So back to my first day, this day is already rocky and its 10 am. I have a headache and I am starving. I hate the taste of protein shakes…it is super disgusting to me. I have NEVER supplemented my protein in the 2 1/2 years since surgery but I still get my 60-80 grams..I just eat high protein foods (meat, etc.) So day 1 and 2 are just strictly liquids. Protein shakes, protein soups. Well I actually have the books from Kaye Bailey (thanks to a giveaway by Tracy) and I have to say, I am such a picky eater. And if you ask anybody, I am not exaggerating. If you were around me daily, you could maybe understand Anthony’s pain haha. The protein shakes make me gag. I have a tried a few different kinds, brands, etc. They are griddy and the smell/taste just gets to me. So I turned to a trusted pal, Tracy (again) and she suggested the protein soups. Well looky again, my picky eater comes out. I am sure the recipes are great for people who like that stuff. I am already not a big fan of soup…I just have to be in a mood to eat it and my selection is very slim as to what I like. So the soup recipes weren’t very appealing to me either. So I am stuck. I did end up making a shake today using GNC Total Lean Rich Chocolate and made it more like a milkshake. It helps but I had to take a sip and then turn around and take a sip of water to even get it down. I drank about 4 oz of it before I had to stop. I added some cinnamon to cover the taste a tad and it was ok. I guess drinking part of a shake is way better than living off water because that isn’t healthy..at all.
I am just trying to make it through these next two days and I will be ok. Day 3-5 you move slowly in the protein scale. I am thankful to say Anthony is doing it with me, even though he is not a baratric patient. He will be slightly different on days 3-5 because there are added rules in such that you sit down and you can only eat for 15 minutes. Also, you can’t drink anything 30 mins before a meal or 30 mins after. I have to say I have never followed that rule. It’s so hard for me but I will try very hard to follow it through the test and beyond.
On one last note, I decided my pouch needs a name. I mean it is part of me and it has to be super cool. Hmm, I will ponder this! I have never been able to come up with a good name!
Wish us luck on this test! I think I need to more than anybody doing it haha. If you are looking for another prospective on the test, Rob over at Former Fat Dudes is also doing the test starting today. Check out his blog!