Alright its been a few weeks and life was a little busy for a second. I was working more hours (yay!) and obviously taking care of Kennedy and then wedding planning makes me drained sometimes. Thinking about everything that needs to be paid for, planned, etc. Honestly, I now understand why people hire other people to do this for them and if I was rich, I totally would! We have major stuff done- reception place, photographer, dj, flowers. I have picked out other important things and I have finalized decisions on the bridesmaids. But all the little things are what get me! I can’t stand this. Really in 20 years is it going to matter what fucking color the flower girls pedals are? or what shoes my bridesmaids are wearing? or how their hair was? PROBABLY NOT! I am very good about being easy about things and going with the flow because I know it won’t matter to me and actually, it doesn’t really matter to me now. I know that things need to coordinate, etc. and I want it to be nice but when I am walking down the aisle, do you think I am paying attention to what color flowers I am stepping on? NO. I am focused on 1st- not falling and 2nd- reaching the altar to marry my fiance! So that’s my feeling on the wedding stuff lately haha!
I have been working out and running and so far its been ok. I ran 3 miles on my birthday (23rd of Jan) in about 31 mins. It’s not very fast but I say its pretty damn good for someone who hasn’t run in 4 months! I have been also lifting weights and eating healthier. I jumped on the bad food bandwagon this weekend and needs to hop off! I slipped a little but I am back to the good stuff! I know that I need to get faster for the marathon because they shut down the course if you don’t make it in time, you are screwed. I wish I knew how to get faster but maybe it will come in time. I will keep you posted!
In other news, if you are NOT on the support call with Tracy & other fabulous people, you need to be! It’s such a great support and I really look forward to talking to this wonderful ladies every week!! If you need more information go to her website or you can always contact me.
And that is my update for now. I am working on getting back into blogging more. I need to only devote a certain amount of time each day to the wedding or I could be looking at stuff for hours, which is NOT a good idea for me haha! And pinterest is the best idea in the whole world, end of story! lol
PS- Today is Anthony & I’s 3rd year anniversary and I have to say I didn’t think I would be a mom now but I love every minute and I love him. I am excited to get married to this man and I am excited for all the things to come!
Day 3 was MUCH better simply because I could eat! I had cheesy eggs and a little yogurt for breakfast, I had a couple of protein shakes somewhere in my day. I had tuna, tilapia, and canned chicken. It was overall a decent day except I hated being restricted. I wanted to eat EVERYTHING lol I have a monthly visitor, which I didn’t expect or I didn’t really care when I started this but when this visitor comes to town, I eat like a freak for a week. I have endless pouch days all the over the place! And of course I crave sweets! So yesterday I had some sugar-free pudding. mmmm it was delicious although I find the sugar-free to be very sweet! But overall I didn’t have too bad of a day yesterday. I worked last night so that helped kind of kill time and not let me think about being hungry, etc. I guess I can’t see my portion sizes being smaller than before the test but I think that partly has to do with the week I did it in! Opps. Well all I REALLY care about is making better choices so that’s what I will do!
Yay to Day 4- mmm I am looking forward to some ground turkey tonight!!
Day 2 is officially closed! I may or may not have done a happy dance…ok I didn’t really dance but I feel so happy to be done with that! Yesterday wasn’t as bad as day 1 for me. I do the support call with Tracy aka Tiny Tank every Tuesday afternoon (morning for me) at 12pm EST. I also usually join the Wednesday evening call at 8:30pm EST but this week, I have to work…anyway! It was SO helpful. Tracy picks topics for the week and we talk about them but this week since it was just me and her, we talked about the pouch test. She has done it before but the call REALLY helped my attitude yesterday. Encouragement is a huge thing and something you don’t realize how important it is unless you get it. Don’t get me wrong, Anthony has been WAY more supportive and encouraging these past two days than I like to admit I have been to him but sometimes you need an outside source to help chug you along even more. I would say I was pretty proud of myself yesterday. I drank a 15oz protein shake in about 10-15 minutes!!! I did the same as yesterday with the GMC Total Lean Rich Chocolate and made it like a milkshake then added cinnamon and nutmeg…the nutmeg REALLY helps hid the protein taste as well as tone down the sweetness of the chocolate. It was actually pretty good. I had two cans of soup throughout the day and again some saltines but not a ton and it really helped me make it through with a saltine or two throughout the day. I know that is “cheating” but I say, screw it. I didn’t sit here and eat steak so I think I did pretty good! I also made another shake the same way for a second time, that didn’t go down so smooth but I did finish it..eventually! Now this test is not about losing weight but I decided to use the scale the whole time just to see how my body handled it weight wise. I repeat, I am not doing this to lose weight because this is not the purpose of it. It is to get back on track. And I must say, I have gained weight but I am confident once my marathon training begins next week, it will fall back off! I am not even worried!
Cheers to a beautiful snowy morning with my cheesy eggs and yogurt. OMG ITS SO DELICIOUS!
Ok so yesterday was Day 1 of the pouch test. Holy shit was it hard!!! Well in my previous post, I told you I am not a fan of protein shakes, etc. Well I managed to finish 20 oz of a protein shake throughout the day. I made it more like a milkshake and it helped a little. I am going to try again today to at least finish one throughout the day. I know it helps. but I had horrible headaches, dizziness and I was just plain grumpy. I had that shake. I also had some soup I had in my pantry which wasn’t the best but I had to do something before I passed out. I ate some chicken noodle soup from Campbell’s. I mostly just drank the broth and had a few bites of the stuff but barely any of it. I also drank lots and lots of water. It helped a little but the hunger was so hard. By 530 pm I was in tears when Anthony got home. He made me go to the store and get more soup. I got Progresso Light which tastes amazing by the way! And I am not just saying that because of lack of food, their soup is delicious and I am not a soup fan lol. But anyway, I also broke down and had about 5 saltines throughout the day. I know I didn’t completely ruin the test but it was literally horrible. At one point, I thought I was going to pass out. They helped and I did NOT eat them all at once. I would have one here and maybe an hour later another. I tried hard not to do it but I had to not be passing out!
So day 1 was rough and of course this morning I woke up with a killer headache. I hope day 2 goes by fast because frankly, this fucking sucks! And on a different note, Kennedy is 10 months old today!!!! I love her sweet little face but sad/happy for her to grow up. Its such a mix of emotions and maybe I will cry. Probably more for lack of food then her actually being 10 months but whatever! lol
and another from last night with my headphones. I laughed hysterically!
PS- I hope people will be on the call today with Tracy aka My Tiny Tank. Her weekly support call is amazing and I love being able to talk to you guys! I can’t make the call tomorrow night due to work but I will be on today!!! Contact Tracy if you have any questions!!
So today is the first day of the 5 day pouch test (5DPT). I am off to a semi rocky start. I have to say I chose to do this to reset my mind. I don’t believe this test “shrinks” your pouch or anything of that sort but mentally, I think this will help me. I make bad choices everyday with my food and it is not where I want to be anymore. I drink soda regularly, I eat rice daily, and I tend to eat sweets a lot. Not that I blame pregnancy but I think this started for me when the cravings for pregnancy kicked in. I honestly didn’t really watch what I ate. I pretty much ate the pizza hut pizza from taco bell once a day. I started making bad choices and it is followed me through the birth of Kennedy and haunting me 10 months later. But on a side note, I have to say I am lucky enough to have only gained 25 lbs with my pregnancy and honestly, my weight loss surgery helped that.
I stopped soda pre weight loss surgery and I continued that for almost a year after surgery. I never craved it. Well come pregnancy I randomly got a craving and caved. I get headaches if I don’t drink soda and that kind of grosses me out. I should NOT be here. I was doing SO well pre pregnancy. I ate 6x a day with very simple meals and once and awhile caved to a sweet. I want to be back there. I can’t be prefect and none of us are but I want to be healthier. As the marathon training will begin, I need to be healthy. I need to be strong and mentally if I am wore down with food then my training will not be successful. I was going to start running today but figured I should tackle one task at a time…lets get my food back up to par and then start running. I think I will be more successful instead of trying to do it all at once.
So back to my first day, this day is already rocky and its 10 am. I have a headache and I am starving. I hate the taste of protein shakes…it is super disgusting to me. I have NEVER supplemented my protein in the 2 1/2 years since surgery but I still get my 60-80 grams..I just eat high protein foods (meat, etc.) So day 1 and 2 are just strictly liquids. Protein shakes, protein soups. Well I actually have the books from Kaye Bailey (thanks to a giveaway by Tracy) and I have to say, I am such a picky eater. And if you ask anybody, I am not exaggerating. If you were around me daily, you could maybe understand Anthony’s pain haha. The protein shakes make me gag. I have a tried a few different kinds, brands, etc. They are griddy and the smell/taste just gets to me. So I turned to a trusted pal, Tracy (again) and she suggested the protein soups. Well looky again, my picky eater comes out. I am sure the recipes are great for people who like that stuff. I am already not a big fan of soup…I just have to be in a mood to eat it and my selection is very slim as to what I like. So the soup recipes weren’t very appealing to me either. So I am stuck. I did end up making a shake today using GNC Total Lean Rich Chocolate and made it more like a milkshake. It helps but I had to take a sip and then turn around and take a sip of water to even get it down. I drank about 4 oz of it before I had to stop. I added some cinnamon to cover the taste a tad and it was ok. I guess drinking part of a shake is way better than living off water because that isn’t healthy..at all.
I am just trying to make it through these next two days and I will be ok. Day 3-5 you move slowly in the protein scale. I am thankful to say Anthony is doing it with me, even though he is not a baratric patient. He will be slightly different on days 3-5 because there are added rules in such that you sit down and you can only eat for 15 minutes. Also, you can’t drink anything 30 mins before a meal or 30 mins after. I have to say I have never followed that rule. It’s so hard for me but I will try very hard to follow it through the test and beyond.
On one last note, I decided my pouch needs a name. I mean it is part of me and it has to be super cool. Hmm, I will ponder this! I have never been able to come up with a good name!
Wish us luck on this test! I think I need to more than anybody doing it haha. If you are looking for another prospective on the test, Rob over at Former Fat Dudes is also doing the test starting today. Check out his blog!
Ok so I have this amazing fellow blogger who is doing something awesome and it’s just kicking off. I wanted to post about it here because the more the merrier!
Tracy aka My Tiny Tank started an online weight loss surgery support group conference call (try to say that twenty times fast!) and I think everybody should know about it! I will explain it but also, please hop over to her site here to find out more and to join in!
Ok so this call is flexible to your schedule. There are currently two different times but she is open to more! Basically, every week, for one hour, you are on a conference call with different people. You don’t have to have had weight loss surgery to join because maybe you are thinking about it but want support or to ask questions..join! You could be 10 years out and want some extra support from people who understand. I think it’s a great thing she is doing and it allows people who connect on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, etc. on a daily basis to talk and support each other beyond 140 characters or emailing!
I will be joining my first call next week on Tuesday from 12pm-1pm Eastern time so I hope you will join us too! So even if you are not sure or maybe I don’t do it justice…head over here to read more about it and feel free to contact Tracy with questions or if you want to, ask them right here!
So I found this video on YouTube today randomly. It REALLY pissed me off. My blood is boiling. It was a video about her friend dying from weight loss surgery within 5 days and another friend of hers who didn’t lose weight after she got the lap band. First off…Your friend had weight loss surgery by CHOICE and she died from complications. Well guess what? ANYBODY COULD DIE IN SURGERY. They tell you that, that’s why you sign forms. My doctor’s statistics for death were less that 1% and I could have been that 1%. I started to panic on the way to the operating room, to the point where I knocked the gas mask out of the hand of the anesthesiologist. I could have died but I am thankful that I didn’t. I am sad for her loss because no matter how someone dies, its sad. BUT don’t blame weight loss surgery because (I know this is one-sided) maybe the doctor fucked up? Maybe a nurse did? Maybe she was too overweight to have surgery? There are so many reasons for complications!!!!!!
Secondly, for your friend who didn’t lose weight after the lap band…you have to change your way of thinking and your habits or YOU WILL NOT LOSE WEIGHT. It could also be that you were too overweight for the lap band. Is weight loss surgery an easy way out? NO. Is weight loss surgery for everybody? NO. Is Lap Band for everybody? NO. Is Roux-en-y for everybody? NO. Is the Gastric Sleeve for everybody? NO. Weight loss surgery is a TOOL to help you succeed. I have been very lucky and have lost 115 lbs since my surgery in August 2009. I had Roux-en-y and that is very different from lap band. I know a few of my twitter followers who had lap band and then went on to get it reversed to the sleeve. Your doctor should point in the right direction to which surgery may be best for you. I wanted the lap band to begin with and after speaking with my doctor, I got Roux-en-y. Why? Because the lap band wasn’t for me. I listened to the doctor and his comparison of the two and realized I would never succeed in the lap band. The lap band is a slower moving process. An average of 2-4 lbs a week. I was 320 lbs, do you know how long it would have taken me to reach my current weight of 188 lbs? Yeah, I would have never succeed. And I must say…we can’t all be Bigger Loser contestants with that kind of training 8-10 hours a day because IT IS UNREALISTIC. I know there have been people to succeed from that show but most gain some/all their weight back. I have struggled and I still struggle to make better choices in my life but if I didn’t do anything, I would not lose weight and/or gain it all back. I know people in the community have gained their weight back or struggle with the last 20 lbs and I just wish them the best in making daily choices to help get back on track but I also know these people are not blaming weight loss surgery for not keeping the weight off, etc.
I am sure I could search YouTube for videos bashing weight loss surgery but I don’t think I have ever touched on how much this pisses me off so a random video prompted this. I haven’t encountered anybody to have anything negative to say to my face so maybe that is where this anger is coming from. I just wanted to clear this up because I am a very open person. We could play 100 questions and I will answer all to my ability. I don’t hide the fact that I had Gastric Bypass or anything that has happened. The first three months after surgery? I felt like death. I couldn’t eat anything except yogurt and cottage cheese but EVERYTHING got stuck. I ended up having to get an upper GI done and they have to open up my connection so I will never say my surgery was the EASY way out. I struggle everyday to take all my vitamins, saggy skin, my body image, sweets, protein intake and portion control. I am only human but I will always be honest with my struggles.I would rather you ask me about it then speculate so if anybody reading this blog has ANY questions, even just because you want to know, ASK. I will answer them or at least give you somewhere to find the answer.
I do want to thank everybody in my life for their support. I have talked to some people and see blogs/comments/tweets about family not being ok with their choice to have surgery and I say…ROCK ON! Keep doing what you doing because you made a decision to change your life. 🙂